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C Church, dissensions in
A certain man once embarked on a sea voyage around the world. Partway through his journey, he encountered a terrible storm. His vessel capsized and was ripped apart, but luckily he was able to swim to a small island. After a bit of exploration, he discovered that he was the only inhabitant of the island. He also discovered, though, that there was sufficient animal life and vegetation on the island to support his life. So, in true Gilligan's Island fashion, he built a new life for himself on that island.
Ten years passed. One day, the man was stunned to see a ship approaching the island: He was being rescued! Before long, a team of rescuers strolled onto the island, and the shipwrecked man met them on the beach.
They stated: "We are here to rescue you and the others."
The man declared, "That's fantastic! …but there are no 'others.' I am the only inhabitant of this island."
The rescuers looked confused. They said, "Sir, just ahead of us we see, not one, but three buildings. How is it that you dwell on this island all alone, yet have constructed three different buildings?"
The man said, "I will explain. The first building? That is my home. That's where I eat and sleep. The second building? That is my church. That's where I pray and worship."
He paused. The rescuers prompted him: "Well, then, what is the third building?"
The man replied, "Oh, that's the church I used to attend, until I got mad at 'em and moved my letter…"
Source: Junior Hill, evangelist, 11/2/1998
Topics/Tags: Conflict; Church, dissensions in
Before Andrew Jackson became the seventh president of the United States, he served as a major general in the Tennessee militia. During the War of 1812 his troops reached an all-time low level in morale. As a result, they began arguing, bickering, and fighting among themselves.
It is reported that Jackson called them together on one occasion when tensions were at their worst and said, "Gentlemen! Let's remember, the enemy is over there."
What an appropriate word for the church today. Some Christians behave as though their fellow brothers and sisters are "the enemy." Let us remember who our Enemy really is. Let us stop infighting, and instead pull together, support one another, believe in one another, care for one another, and pray for one another.
Source: Charles Swindoll, Hope Again, Word 1996, p. 45.
Topics/Tags: Fighting; Unity; Church, dissensions in
A woman driver was having difficulties getting her automobile started after it had stalled in traffic. The gentleman (?) in the car behind her insisted in expressing his impatience with her by blowing his horn every few seconds.
Finally, the lady, worn out by his thoughtlessness, stepped out of her automobile, walked back to the honker's car and said, "I'm having some difficulty in getting my car started. If you'll go and see if you can start it, I'll honk your horn for you!"
_______
A lot of folks in the church do more honking than helping! There are more talkers than workers, and more criticism than labor. The ones who do the most honking generally do the least working. They may never have preached a sermon, taught a class, led a song or served in any capacity in the church.
Of course, anyone who drives much is going to be honked at now and then. Don't lose your temper. And, anyone who tries to accomplish something for the Lord is going to find many horn- honkers, also!
Source: PULPIT HELPS, Sept., 1990
Topics/Tags: Impatience; Criticism; Church; Church, dissensions in
Back in 1837 a Georgia Baptist Church with a membership of about 80 people had a split. They had a vote to determine whether to be a missionary or anti-missionary church. The young pastor lead the church to take a pro-missionary position. The vote was 42 for missions and 37 against missions. But, those who were opposed to missions were not satisfied with the majority vote so they separated and started their own little church.
When they left, one of their leaders came up to the young pastor and said, "We shall see who is in the right! For the blessing of God shall follow the right church."
One hundred and twenty years later, the church that did not believe in missions had shrunk from 37 members down to 18. They were able to hold worship services just once a month.
The church that HAD voted for missions, on the other hand, had grown from 42 members to over 1200, and were averaging over 500 in Sunday School. They had given over a million dollars to missions during the previous 15 years.
Which church do you think the "blessing of God" followed?
Source: Dr. Edwin L. Cliburn
Topics/Tags: Missions; Blessings; Church growth; Church, dissensions in
The chairman of the Church Board received the following chain letter in the mail:
"This chain letter is meant to bring you happiness. Unlike other chain letters, it does not cost money.
"Sit down and make a list of five other churches that are tired of their ministers. Send a copy of this letter to all five churches on the list. Then send your minister to the church on the bottom of the list. In one week you will receive 15,625 ministers, and one of them should be a hit! Have faith in this letter.
"P.S. Please don't break the chain. In fact, one church broke the chain, and they got their old minister back."
Source: unknown
Topics/Tags: Church; Ministers; Church, dissensions in
A Baptist minister asked a Methodist minister, "How many of your members are ACTIVE in the church?"
"All of them," said the Methodist minister.
The Baptist minister was impressed. "That's an outstanding achievement!" he said.
"I wouldn't be too sure of that," said the Methodist minister. "Half of them actively SUPPORT me, and the other half actively OPPOSE me!"
Source: unknown
Topics/Tags: Church, dissensions in; Church, membership in; Ministers; Opposition
A Baptist woman asked her Presbyterian neighbour: "Whatever happened to the Reverend Jones?"
"He left us," said her neighbour, "because of illness and fatigue."
"How so?" asked the Baptist woman.
Replied the Presbyterian neighbour: "The church got sick and tired of him!"
Source: unknown
Topics/Tags: Ministers; Church, dissensions in
A central Missouri farmer lived close to a river. He had ducks as many of the other farmers did. Ducks like water, but the farmers knew that if they allowed their ducks to get out on the river that they would get mixed up and nobody would know whose ducks were whose. As a remedy to the problem, they each built fenced pens in the river for their ducks.
The ducks liked the water but they also wanted the fellowship of the other ducks. They would swim over to their fence and quack at the ducks in the other pens but they couldn't get through. That is until one day the river rose until it flowed over the top of the pens. . . then the ducks were free and had a ducky fellowship! The farmers didn't like it but that was tough. The ducks were having a great time.
Too often, our Christian DENOMINATIONS act like those pens. With human-constructed walls, we keep ourselves from knowing true fellowship with ALL of our brothers and sisters in Christ. What mighty work might God be able to do in our communities if we would allow the river of the Holy Spirit to draw us above our humanmade walls and truly work together as ONE body in Christ Jesus?
Source: Wayne Sams
Topics/Tags: Church; Denominations; Unity; Church, dissensions in
"Good News & Bad News for Pastors":
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Good News: The trustee's finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
and finally....
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.
Source: unknown
Topics/Tags: Ministers; Church, dissensions in; Conflict
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