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In the 1988 movie "Rain Man," Tom Cruise plays a somewhat greedy, self-centered fellow who's initially trying to figure out a way to get the whole of the family inheritance away from his brother Raymond, played by Dustin Hoffman. Raymond is an "autistic savant," which means that, although his intellect is top-flight, far above average, his social skills and ability to interact in the world are nil--so his brother is determined to convince Raymond and all other interested parties that the family money is worth nothing to Raymond, but it could be worth something to him! So, big brother "connects" with his special-needs brother, for the sole purpose of "getting something back" for his efforts.
Over the course of the movie, though, the greedy brother realizes that there's more to his relationship with Raymond, after all, than simply getting the dough away from Raymond. There's the simple joy of being in relationship with another person, a joy that's intensified for him by the knowledge that Raymond can never truly repay what he's doing for him.
There is more to "being connected with others" than the simple calculation of what they can give back to us in return!
Source: "Rain Man"
Topics/Tags: Friendship; Relationships
Parents are finding they aren't the only ones who need preparation for a new baby. Many hospitals across the nation are now offering "sibling classes" that prepare a big brother or sister for the new arrival.
Pamela Wood-Rinkus of the Emanuel Medical Center in California identifies practical ways to help the older sibling adjust:
* Prepare them for the unknown (crying, spitting up, getting sick).
* Talk about what it was like when the older child was a baby.
* Send a gift to the older sibling from the baby.
* Set up a special time with your older child.
* Give siblings their own photo albums or scrapbooks of the baby.
Certainly, the relationships within your family can have a profound effect on the way you are able to carry out God's purposes (see the stories of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, and Joseph and his brothers!). We must take care of our family relationships.
Source: "Home Life," October 1998, p. 11.
Topics/Tags: Family; Siblings; Relationships
The Veil
A misty veil is a romantic sign of purity at a wedding. A new car design is veiled to give suspense, mystery - and pride when revealed. The veil of Muslim women is different. Their veil may denote protection. However, all too often, it symbolises humiliation and limitation....
Our role is not to force Christianity on others. However, many people of other faiths, including Muslims, are earnestly and openly searching for life and freedom beyond their current experience. Through established and open friendships, opportunities arise to respond to questions and to speak of Jesus. Are we prepared to take the time just “being there” for people such as these, learning their customs, respecting them, loving them?
--
Gary Heard
Melbourne, Australia
Source: "Christian Leadership" email discussion list
Topics/Tags: Evangelism; Friendship; Relationships
The person who looks up to God rarely looks down on people
--
Gary Heard
Melbourne, Australia
Source: "Christian Leadership" email discussion list
Topics/Tags: Submission; Attitude; Friendship; Relationships
John Faghy's family was torn apart by a speeding ticket.
The London man received the speeding ticket in the mail after a police camera snapped the license plates of his new car at an automated radar checkpoint. At that point, family members began to pass the blame around.
Faghy said he was in bed at the time of the offense, so he blamed his son, David. David also denied being behind the wheel, so he fingered his stepbrother, Philip. Philip had an alibi, too: he was out of town on a holiday when police cameras snapped the incriminating picture.
The Faghys finally called a family meeting to discuss the fine, but the meeting degenerated into a fistfight, which ended with son David being dragged away by police.
It was eventually revealed that... all three men were actually innocent! It turned out that the car dealership in northern England that sold Faghy his new Ford had erroneously issued an identical set of license plates to another customer. The error was finally discovered after the other driver (the real speeder) took his car back to the dealer for repairs a couple of months later.
The car dealership issued the Faghys an official apology, but John Faghy's wife Mary said only time would tell if the rift between father and sons would ever heal.
________
Who knows how many human relationships have been irreparably damaged by simple misunderstandings like this one? Misunderstandings that are "fought out" instead of "talked out"?
"Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger..." (Ephesians 4:26, NASB).
Source: Reuters, excite.com, 1/18/1999.
Topics/Tags: Relationships; Misunderstanding; Mistakes; Conflict
A railcar carrying 12,000 gallons of napalm headed back to California after political protests prompted an Indiana company to back out of a Navy deal to recycle the jellied gasoline. The Navy decided in April 1998 to send the shipment to China Lake Naval Weapons Testing Center, about 120 miles northwest of Lost Angeles, for storage until a company is found to "treat it or process it," said Navy spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Jon Smith.
Bottled-up napalm possesses deadly destructive power. Likewise, bottled-up anger has the potential to destroy all our relationships. No wonder Jesus taught us to neutralize its devastating effects! "For if you forgve men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Matthew 6:14).
Source: Proclaim!, Spring 1999, p. 34.
Topics/Tags: Anger; Destruction; Relationships
LONDON, 3/23/1999: A Rabbi who caused a storm in Britain with his book "Kosher Sex" is now promoting a new handbook: "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments.."
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's book, subtitled "Keep taking the tablets and find your perfect soulmate," says biblical laws provide the best guide to finding lifelong love.
The rabbi resigned from his London synagogue after "Kosher Sex," which said sexual gratification is essential for a successful relationship, outraged his Orthodox Jewish congregation.
Boteach, 32, who is married with six children, told the London Times that the 10 commandments were the most famous guide to living ever devised.
"They lend themselves to the rules of relationships," he said.
_________
Boteach does have the right idea, at least as far as "relationships" are concerned: Scripture's precepts are the best tool for building healthy relationships (both between you and God and between you and other humans) ever written.
Source: Reuter, 3/23/1999.
Topics/Tags: Relationships; Scripture; Word of god; Commandments
"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
"Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.
"That is my experience.
"No blame, no reasoning, no argument--just understanding.
"If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change."
-- Thich Nhat Hahn, "Peace Is Every Step"
Source: "Bits & Pieces," Vol. R, #5.
Topics/Tags: Understanding; Change; Reconciliation; Relationships
You impress people from a distance, but you impact them from up close
--
Gary Heard
Melbourne, Australia
Source: Gary Heard
Topics/Tags: Appearances; Influence; Relationships
A father took his son downtown to play in one of the city's massive fountains. As the five-year-old played in the thirty or so jets of water shooting up from the courtyard, the father looked around and noticed all the different kinds of people who were doing the same thing. There were small children like his own son who were splashing about in the water. There were downtown office workers who were coming to cool their feet on their lunch hour. There were sophisticated vacationers speaking foreign tongues. There were people who looked to be homeless. There were others whose identity couldn't quite be ascertained.
Yet they were all united in the water. A mysterious kinship formed among them as they tarried in the fountain's jets.
Then, after they left the water, they all returned to their respective 'worlds,' perhaps never to cross paths with one another again.
Our standing with Christ is like that. As long as we're actively drinking from the 'Living Water,' through regular communion with Him, we will feel a kinship with our fellow men and women in this world-- a kinship that enables us to fellowship with them, minister to them, befriend them. However, if we withdraw ourselves from regular fellowship with Christ and stop drinking from His Living Water, we will lose our connection with other people. We will once again see people through human eyes, rather than seeing them as God Himself sees them.
Source: "Preaching," Nov/Dec 1989, p. 57.
Topics/Tags: Fellowship, with christ; Water; Relationships
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